Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Some day my au pair will come – when good plans go bad


Working from home is coming from my parent’s farm in North Devon today as the kids and I have escaped south. After the recent amazing weather it’s not surprising it’s now much more spring-like with dark, heavy clouds and a chilling wind.

No matter. Today I decided to drag poor Nana and the kids out on another expedition like the one where I scared the kids. The reasoning was that if it worked before it will work again. Wrong!

My parents have some woods on their farm and this time, rather than pretending there were pirate ghosts hiding (as they were a bit scary, I played it safe and told Thing 1 and Thing 2 that the Seven Dwarfs were on holiday in the woods. A cunning plan as Thing 2 loves Snow White and often sings ‘One day my prince will come’ that I promptly change to ‘One day my au-pair will come.’

It all started so well. We left the house with a spring in our step despite the cold and were even accompanied for some way by Hen, possibly the oldest hen in the world. We walked past the lambs, talked a lot about sheep poo and stinging nettles and then approached the woods.


The sound of hammering from far away drifted to us in the bitter wind and so Nana and I told the Things that the dwarves were busy in the woods. We left some sweets for the fairies in a likely looking enchanted tree stump and struggled over the rough ground to find a likely spot for treasure hunting.

I went ahead and hid some sweets and we got the Things to sing the ‘Heigh ho’ song to the dwarves. It was then that I noticed that Thing 2 was scared. I think the noise of the ‘dwarves’ hammering made it too realistic. She was also cold and grumpy. She cheered up when she found the sweets – for the time it took her to eat them – and then went into meltdown.

One sore neck later, after carrying her back home on my shoulders I bundle her in a blanket and she is asleep almost instantly. At 11am. Unheard of.


Thing 1 had a good time though. He threw lots of logs and sticks off the path in the wood; nearly decapitating Nana at one point. He is now telling anyone who will listen that Daddy lied about the dwarves leaving us sweets as it was Daddy who hid them and it’s really naughty to lie.

I’ve got to go out again to retrieve the sweets (unless the fairies eat them) as we used a whole packet of Opal Fruits. I might sing for an au-pair to come and rescue me.

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